


Ultimate Weakness

by BouncyDragon



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Avenger Loki (Marvel), Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, I Blame Tumblr, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Inspired By Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:48:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25360390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BouncyDragon/pseuds/BouncyDragon
Summary: Inspired by a Tumblr post.The Avengers discover the Asgardian's ultimate weakness thanks to Loki...
Comments: 9
Kudos: 112





	Ultimate Weakness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [worstloki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/worstloki/gifts).



> My first try at an MCU fanfic. It was inspired/prompted by a post by @worstloki on Tumblr.
> 
> Enjoy.

"AH FUCK!!!"

The Avengers, minus Thor who was on Asgard and Loki who had moved into the tower a few months ago and mostly kept to himself, were all gathered in the living room area of the common floor. They all looked up surprised at the outburst that had come from the kitchen. Tony half expected Steve to yell back "Language!" but to his disappointment he didn't.

"What was that?" Natasha asked.

They all shrugged and got up to find out. When they entered the kitchen, they found Loki, clad in a dark green Asgardian tunic and loose-fitting pink sweatpants, standing at the counter... suckling his thumb?

"Eh... Reindeer Games? What are you doing?" Tony asked with a raised eyebrow. It was quite the sight, really. Seeing the Norse God of Mischief suckling on his thumb and grimacing in pain. And besides that, Tony would never get used to Loki wearing pink pants. They seemed to be his favourite for whatever unfathomable reason.

Loki looked at them surprised and removed his thumb out of his mouth. There was blood oozing out of a small cut.

"What happened?" Bruce asked confused.

"Cut myself," Loki simply answered.

"With what?" Tony asked. What could possibly hurt so much that Loki cursed? Like, seriously. He had seen the guy being blown up and beaten by the Hulk. Nothing seemed to faze him. Hell, when he had moved into the tower, Clint had attacked him and beaten him until his knuckles were bruised. But Loki... Loki had just been grinning smugly. There had been no bruise on the guy's face. None! Loki had just asked if Clint felt better now.

Loki was quiet for a moment, looking at the cut on his thumb. Then he simply answered "Paper" and resumed suckling his thumb.

They all stared at him in utter disbelief. Was he being serious? He certainly looked serious–well, as much as one could while suckling their thumb, but somehow Loki managed to do that.

"Wait wait wait. Hold up," Tony eventually said. "Are you telling me that you're _hurt by a papercut_?"

Loki nodded.

"You're kidding, right? I mean... Paper?"

"Yes?" Loki raised an eyebrow at him.

Tony stared. "Paper?!" he nearly yelled. "You get smashed into the ground by the Hulk, get up not long after and seem unfazed by it. But... But a papercut hurts?" Tony took a deep breath. "How can you even cut yourself on paper? It needed the Hulk to leave any bruise on you! How can paper break your skin when nothing else seems to be able to?"

Loki looked at him half perplexed and half amused. He shrugged and continued suckling his thumb.

"Could you please stop doing that?"

Loki grinned. "Why? Does it distract you, Stark?"

Tony sighed heavily and chose to ignore the comment. "Let me get this straight. You get blown up, smashed, beaten... We throw all we've got at you and you're fine! But paper!? Paper does the trick?! Are you fucking kidding me?!"

"Language!" Steve interrupted. He was just as confused as everyone else about this new information but there was no need to swear.

"Oh, shush, Cap!"

Tony looked at Loki one more time. The God was still just grinning with his thumb in his mouth. Tony threw up his arms and stalked out the kitchen. If there had been a table in reach, Tony would've flipped it.

"Fucking paper!" was heard just before the door closed.

Loki chuckled and then hissed. "Damn, this hurts. Stupid paper," he mumbled. He looked at the rest of the Avengers. "Let me tell you, your paper here on Midgard is way too sharp."

"What? You don't get papercuts on Asgard?" Steve asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, I did. The rest of the Asgardians..." Loki scoffed. "The day any of them chooses to actually read a book is the day Odin admits he's a fucking hypocrite. Seriously. You could hand any Asgardian a book on irony and they would choose to use it as toilet paper."

They all stared at him not sure if he was serious or not. Loki just turned away and threw the magazine (which looked suspiciously like a fashion magazine) that apparently had been responsible for the vicious assault on the Trickster into the bin before he left the kitchen.

"Who'd have thought that the weakness of Gods was paper?" Natasha said.

They all agreed and then left to go about their own business, all wondering if they could ever use this newfound information if needed.

And for the rest of the week they wouldn't hear the end of "how ridiculously sharp Midgardian paper was" and "the sheer unbearable pain" that little cut had caused the God of Mischief. In fact, Loki was being a huge Drama Queen about the papercut he had suffered; which had healed in about a minute, by the way.

**Author's Note:**

> So, hope you liked it. Let me know what you think.


End file.
